Ursula Thorsen - Noah's Archipelago

Thorsen Family Game Night

February 7, 2024December 5, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula, Duke, and Adam are all sitting on the sofa and their dad Noah is standing in front of them carrying a stack of boardgames in his arms. Noah says, "OK, everyone gets to pick a game." Ursula says, "Pictionary!" Duke says, "Risk." Adam grins and says, "Blackjack!" Irritated, Noah tells Adam, "A normal game, Adam. Not a casino game." Ursula then scowls and asks Adam, "Do I need to know math to play blackjack?" Adam is annoyed and rolls his eyes, asking her, "Can't you count to 21 yet?" Noah reiterates, "There will be no casino games at Thorsen Family Game Night!" Adam scowls and crosses his arms and retorts, "You're just mad I whupped you at poker last month."

Yes, Adam, Noah is still mad about the poker loss.

The Mall Santa

February 7, 2024December 3, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Let the annual Thorsen Family Annoying of the Mall Santa begin.

Noah’s Christmas Efficiency

February 7, 2024December 2, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is on his computer, presumably on Facebook or something useless like that. Ursula comes up to him and says, "I guess you'll drag me to the mall to shop for Mommy's present?" Without even taking his eyes off the screen, Noah replies, "Nope. I ordered it online, same as yours, Valerie's, and your brothers'." Relieved, Ursula says, "Phew! Too bad Grandma Agnes doesn't do that." Noah smiles and says, "Your grandma doesn't value efficiency like I do." Suddenly, though, Ursula realizes the horrible implications of her father having finished all his Christmas shopping, and dismayed, she asks him, "Wait... if you finished shopping already, what happens if I add something to my wishlist?" Noah grins and tells her, "I'll put it on the list for your birthday." Ursula wails, "What?! That's not 'til June!" Noah smirks and says, "Well, it pays to be proactive." and returns to looking at his computer.

If there’s one thing Ursula hates more than shopping, it’s when her dad is already finished his shopping.

Ruth’s Christmas Book List

February 7, 2024December 1, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula is with her mom in a bookstore, standing in front of the New Releases display, which is loaded with new rock star autobiographies including "Surrender" by Bono, "Biblical" by Rob Halford, "The Lives of Brian" by Brian Johnson, "The Storyteller" by Dave Grohl, "A Book of Days" by Patti Smith, and Ann & Nancy Wilson's "Kicking & Dreaming." Clearly fed up with being dragged around to the shops, Ursula sticks her tongue out and scrunches her face up and whines, "Ugh... we've been here for hours!" Ruth, annoyed, retorts, "We've been here for 20 minutes, Ursula. And we'll go as soon as I get everything on my present list." (She holds a very long "Xmas List".) Without missing a beat, Ursula continues, "Ugh... we'll be here for hours!"

Ursula’s had it with shopping and I’ve had it with drawing shelves full of books… also, today I learned how similar all the rock star memoir covers look.

Santa Odin

February 7, 2024November 30, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Noah and Ursula are having a Facetime video chat with Noah's mom, Granny Thorsen, who tells Ursula, "So Odin appeared to me in a vision, wanting to know what you'd like him to gift you for Yule." Ursula quickly replies, "An iPad!" and an irate Noah exclaims, "What?! You asked Santa for Lego!" Unfazed, Granny Thorsen says, "iPad it is!" then she continues, "Remember to leave out straw for Odin's horse Sleipnir, dear." An excited Ursula replies, "OK. Does Sleipnir like carrots, too?" and Granny Thorsen tells her, "Yes, and Odin likes whiskey." Still annoyed, Noah tells his mother, "No no no... Mom, an iPad is too expensive! Even for 'Odin'!" (and he makes air quotes as he says Odin's name.) Now annoyed herself, Granny Thorsen waves dismissively and rolls her eyes, saying, "Quiet, boy! 'Odin' won $10,000 at bingo last Thursday."

Once again, the “boy” tries to tell his mother what to do and she ain’t having it. Ursula’s getting her iPad from “Odin” no matter what.

Spice Girls Shopping

February 7, 2024November 29, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Grandma Agnes has brought Ursula to the antiques mall to shop for Ruth. Grandma Agnes says, "OK, keep your eyes peeled for something your mommy would like for Christmas." Ursula immediately points to a boxed set of five Spice Girls on Tour dolls and says, "Is that a set of Spice Girls dolls?" Surprised, Agnes says, "Huh? Oh, yes. It is." Ursula replies, "Cool, our work here is done. Now for that pizza and ice cream you promised."

Trust Ursula to find the quickest route to finishing up her Christmas shopping.

Santa Agnes

February 7, 2024November 28, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is decorating a large Christmas tree in the living room while Grandma Agnes talks to Ursula and asks, " So what do you want from Santa, Ursula?" Ursula responds with her wish list, "I want a bunch of those Foodie Mini Brands balls, and the Lego Goat Boat set and the Lego tiger, and a rock tumbler and a candy chemistry set and..." Grandma Agnes interrupts her to ask, "Don't you want any Barbies?" Ursula replies, "Naw, I'm kinda over Barbie. Plus Mommy keeps insisting I shouldn't play with them because they'll be worth money someday." Furious, Grandma Agnes growls and says, "Your mommy needs to get her own Barbies!" and Ursula tells her, "She does have her own. She keeps them locked away from me... and from Daddy and his GI Joe dolls." Incensed, Noah interrupts his tree-decorating to say, "Hey! They're not dolls, they're action figures!"

Well, one supposes the 12″ GI Joes do see a lot of action with Barbie… also, we can tell what Grandma Agnes bought Ursula for Christmas.

Countdown

February 7, 2024November 25, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is in the kitchen, making sweet potato fries. Ursula comes in with her school backpack, scowling. Noah asks her, "Hi, honey! How was school?" Ursula snarls, "Boring! Nothing but math and social studies and spelling!" Noah smiles and replies, "Well, you have a couple days off." Ursula rolls her eyes and says "And then 9 years, 7 months, and 5 days." (ie, til she graduates and is free of school). Noah says, "I'm surprised you don't have it down to the minute." Ursula replies, "That would be too much math."

Apparently no one ever told Ursula that there are countdown apps that will do that math for her.

Happy Thanksgiving!

February 7, 2024November 24, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Ruth and Agnes are drinking coffee at Agnes' kitchen table. In the background we see Noah and Frank sitting on the antique sofa, sleeping. Ursula comes up to Ruth and Agnes and points at her dad and granddad and says, "OK, they're asleep. Now can we order pizza?"

Noah and Frank are in food comas and Ursula wants pizza… again… happy Thanksgiving!

Seek & Destroy

February 7, 2024November 23, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Noah discovers to his dismay that he may not be the biggest influence on Ursula’s musical taste.