great expectations - Noah's Archipelago

The Squat Rack Deception

March 13, 2024March 6, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Noah asks Adam about a squat rack and Adam misunderstands why.

Noah gets Adams hopes up when he asks Adam about squat racks… but not for the reasons Adam expects.

Noah the Cheapskate

March 13, 2024March 4, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula demands payment but Noah cheaps out.

Noah is refusing to pay up and Inspector Ursula is pissed.

Ursula in the Belly of the Teachers’ Lounge Beast

February 27, 2024February 28, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula is hiding behind the couch in the teachers' lounge and psyching herself out for what she might be about to overhear.

Inspector Ursula worries what horrors she might be about to witness in the teachers’ lounge as she hides behind the couch.

Inspector Ursula’s Real Aim

February 24, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

An annoyed Noah finds out what's really driving Inspector Ursula

Ursula doesn’t believe freedom from consequences, at least for Noah. Especially if it’s the consequences of not buying her stuff she wants.

The Diary Lead

February 23, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

In refuting Ursula's sales pitch, Noah inadvertently tells Ursula where to find Ruth's secrets.

Noah inadvertently gives Inspector Ursula a lead… hopefully Ruth remembered to write her diary in cursive so neither one of these two can read it.

Ursula Names Her Price

February 21, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula tells Noah just how much her investigation is going to cost him.

Ursula sure seems very optimistic about the market demands for her services… either that or she thinks Noah’s a mark.

Ursula the Private Investor

February 19, 2024February 19, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula dons her Sherlock Holmes hat in the hopes of cashing in on Noah's curiosity.

Ursula sees a huge fiscal opportunity in Ruth’s secrets and Noah’s nosiness.

One More Time, with Feeling!

February 12, 2024February 12, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Noah continues to pester Ruth to like her least favorite U2 songs.

At this point these two aren’t even arguing about the songs anymore, it’s about stupid primate dominance games.

Last Year’s Art Gallery Field Trip

February 5, 2024February 27, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula's teacher, Beryl Fardemar, and Ruth are in the teachers' lounge on their coffee break. Beryl looks anxious and says, "So our field trip to the art gallery is Friday." Ruth replies, "My condolences." Beryl continues, "I heard your husband made a fool of himself last year." Ruth answers, "Noah insists otherwise." Beryl looks confused and asks, "Didn't he do an interpretive dance?" Ruth looks off to the side and says, "It looked more like a seizure, but sure." Alarmed, Beryl mutters to herself, "Dear Lord..." while Ruth shrugs and says, "Look on the bright side: unlike last year, I won't be there, so he won't be on his worst behavior." We see Ruth's memory of part of last year's trip, in which a laughing Noah lies on his back on one of the sculpture platforms with one leg up in the air and calls out to a pregnant Ruth, "Hey Ruth! Draw me like one of your French guys!" Ruth is mortified and covers her face in her hands while Ursula asks, "Mommy, what's Daddy talking about?"

I think I got the allusion to the Titanic movie rather close. It’s a wonder the Art Gallery hasn’t banned Noah for his antics there, but then again he does help with fundraising for the gallery and the museum and is somewhat of a local D list micro-celebrity, sorta.

Playing Chicken

February 5, 2024February 8, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is giving Valerie her bottle and Frank comes up with a coffee cup and says, "Alright, Agnes went to the salon. What's the intel?" Noah smiles and says, "We can have up to 10 hens. Minimum coop size is 40 square feet, but I think we should make it at least 8x8." Frank smiles and replies, "Plenty of room next to the pool." Noah continues, "And the run should be at least 100 square feet. More is better." Frank says, "Like I said." Noah then says, "In theory we get 10 eggs a day for most of the year." Frank smiles and says, "Let's do it... next month when Agnes goes to Vegas with her sisters." Noah replies, "Roger that." Meanwhile Valerie yanks a lock of Noah's hair and pokes him in the throat. Noah says to Valerie, "Ow! Valerie, don't pull Daddy's hair." Frank then says, "Yeah, that's how I lost mine."

Noah and Frank are plotting to get free eggs… well, free after the cost of the coop, the run, the hens, the feed… Meanwhile, Valerie is practising her assassin moves for when she’s big enough to actually be dangerous.