Granny Thorsen - Noah's Archipelago

February 10, 2023: Vengeance

February 25, 2023February 10, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is on a Zoom call with his mom, Hrefna aka Granny Thorsen. Hrefna is enraged and tells Noah, "I will speak to Odin on your behalf, boy." Noah replies, "Thanks, Ma, but—" and Hrefna interrupts him, continuing with her fists raised in the air, "Odin will send his ravens to pluck the flesh from their bones!" Noah again tries to get a word in edgewise, saying, "OK, Ma, but—" and again Hrefna interrupts to continue hollering, her eyes bulging with rage, "He will enact a terrible blood vengeance upon the fraudsters!" Noah replies, "Right, Ma, but—" and Hrefna again interrupts him and proclaims, "The wolves and raptors will feast upon their entrails!" Finally Noah is able to speak his piece, face in his hands: "I appreciate that, Ma, but all I really want is a human to answer the phone and help me dispute the fraudulent charges." Hrefna pauses, then replies, "Hmm... our Norse forebears didn't really have a god of customer service, boy... I suppose you could petition Freyr?"

Granny Thorsen has no chill… well… maybe a bit since she didn’t reference the ol’ blood eagle treatment. Lord knows the cartoonist would sure like to use that method on her fraudsters…

January 13, 2023: In the Toy Store

January 13, 2023January 13, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is at the toy store with a few Bono Funko Pops in his shopping cart. He's holding Valerie who is reaching for the Funkos. Noah tells her, "No, Valerie, those are for Mommy's collection. I got you proper teething toys." Valerie continues trying to squirm away and get at the Funkos; Noah pulls her back and says, "No no no. No Funkos for you." Valerie starts screaming. Just then Ursula comes up to Noah with a big smile and a big Lego box, saying, "Daddy! They have the giant Lego Viking ship!" Noah replies, "Not now, Ursula. Maybe for your birthday in June." Ursula growls and grabs Noah's cellphone out of his pocket, then phones Granny Thorsen and tells her, "Granny Thorsen! It's an emergency! We're in the toy store and Daddy won't buy me the Lego Viking ship!" Granny Thorsen replies, "Put the boy on the phone."

Yet another of Noah‘s attempts to teach Valerie and Ursula delayed gratification is thwarted.

December 14, 2022: Danish Immersion

December 30, 2022December 14, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Viking homeschool continues with Noah and Ursula in front of their computer on a Facetime video call with Noah's mom, Granny Thorsen. Noah tells Ursula, "Alright, little Viking, now you need to learn to communicate with your fellow Vikings. That means Danish immersion. Take it away, Ma." Granny Thorsen speaks to Ursula in Danish, saying, "Er du kommet til England endnu?" (translation: Did you get to England yet?, referencing the rowing). Ursula tells Granny Thorsen, "It's OK, Granny. Daddy left, you can talk normal." To Ursula's dismay, Granny Thorsen continues to speak in Danish: "Nej, du skal lære vores sprog. Dansk er det største af de skandinaviske sprog, trods hvad nordmændene hævder." (translation: No, you need to learn our language. Danish is the greatest of the Scandinavian languages, no matter what the Norwegians say.) Ursula says, "I don't understand a word you said, Granny!" Granny Thorsen replies, "Du vil forstå med tiden. Nu, på dansk kalder du mig 'Farmor'..." (translation: You'll understand in time. Now, in Danish you call me 'Father's mother'....)

Granny Thorsen joins in the Viking homeschool fun, much to Ursula‘s confusion and consternation. PS: I hope I got the Danish correct; I used Google Translate as I only know a teeny bit of Norwegian and that’s from Duolingo, lol… I think it’s kinda right.