Valerie Thorsen - Noah's Archipelago

February 21, 2023: Power Outage

March 21, 2023February 21, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Frank is smiling and he says, "Ah, isn't this nice... everyone gathered around the fire..." We now see that Frank is sitting on the ground facing the fireplace. Next to him sit Ursula and Noah, looking miserable. On the sofa, Ruth is sulking and holding baby Valerie and Agnes is scowling at Frank as he says, "Reminds me of being a kid on the ol' farm." Ursula then looks at Noah and says, "Daddy, I wanna watch cartoons." Noah replies, "I know, honey, but you have to wait til the power's back on." Ruth then says, "I bet it was the neighbors' tree that fell..." Agnes replies, "I knew I should have had it chopped down when they were in Arizona last year."

Agnes‘ neighbors all have security cameras aimed at their trees when they go out of town.

February 8, 2023: Playing Chicken

February 16, 2023February 8, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is giving Valerie her bottle and Frank comes up with a coffee cup and says, "Alright, Agnes went to the salon. What's the intel?" Noah smiles and says, "We can have up to 10 hens. Minimum coop size is 40 square feet, but I think we should make it at least 8x8." Frank smiles and replies, "Plenty of room next to the pool." Noah continues, "And the run should be at least 100 square feet. More is better." Frank says, "Like I said." Noah then says, "In theory we get 10 eggs a day for most of the year." Frank smiles and says, "Let's do it... next month when Agnes goes to Vegas with her sisters." Noah replies, "Roger that." Meanwhile Valerie yanks a lock of Noah's hair and pokes him in the throat. Noah says to Valerie, "Ow! Valerie, don't pull Daddy's hair." Frank then says, "Yeah, that's how I lost mine."

Noah and Frank are plotting to get free eggs… well, free after the cost of the coop, the run, the hens, the feed… Meanwhile, Valerie is practising her assassin moves for when she’s big enough to actually be dangerous.

February 3, 2023: Not Enough

February 16, 2023February 3, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Ruth and Noah are on the living room floor playing with Valerie and talking about Ursula's new sport. "I was thinking something more active like soccer." Noah replies, "Ursula doesn't like team sports." Meanwhile, in the background, Valerie tries to reach her favorite chew toy: the now-mangled Funko Bono. Ruth rolls her eyes and continues, "Archery doesn't involve much fitness." Noah smiles and counters, "Duke says it builds focus, strength, and hand-eye coordination." Unconvinced, Ruth says, "But it's not exercise!" Noah answers, "Duke says they have 3D competitions which involve a lot of walking." Valerie has now gotten a hold of Funko Bono and is chewing on his head. Seeing this, Noah tells her, "Valerie, I know you like Funko Bono, but use a proper teether..." He hold out a teether to Valerie, but she is uninterested. Ruth replies to Noah's comment about competitions, scowling and saying, "Noah! That's not enough!" Noah looks over his shoulder at Ruth as he yanks Funko Bono away from Valerie, then says to Ruth, "Look, honey: we got her to pick a sport. Next we get her to practise. Then we guilt trip Duke into letting his sister tag along during bowhunting season so she gets actual exercise." As he says all this, Valerie has turned around and is reaching again for Funko Bono while we see Noah's imagining of a sweating Ursula, face painted in camo, hiking with a giant backpack complete with her pink recurve bow tied to the top of it.

That’s one idea, Noah… but you forgot that Duke has already informed Ursula that there might be bugs involved with bowhunting, so…

January 27, 2023: Lunch at Gigi’s

January 28, 2023January 27, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah and Glen are hanging out for lunch at Gigi's cafe. Glen is laughing, saying, "You? Salad? Since when?" Noah pouts with his chin on his hands, elbows on the table as he looks down at Valerie sleeping in her pram. He answers Glen: "Since I popped the seams on my old Marilyn Manson outfit." Glen replies, "Sucks to be you." Gigi then comes up, carrying their respective lunch orders: a double cheeseburger with a heaping side of fries for Glen and a heaping salad for Noah. She asks Noah, "Why don't you try keto? It worked for my sister." Noah asks her, "Can I eat cheeseburgers on keto?" Gigi goes over to coo at Valerie, now awake, and she tells Noah, "Sure... minus the bun and the fries." Noah sulks and eyes Glen's fries as he sighs and replies, "But the bun and the fires are the best part!" For his part, Glen guards his fries and snarls, "Don't even think about it, Thorsen!" while Gigi is now thoroughly distracted and busy saying "Koochie koochie koo!" to Valerie, who reaches out to Gigi.

That’s right, Glen, guard those fries. Clearly Noah‘s in need of some carb-loading. You just know Adam‘s getting another earful from Gigi about how it’s time to have his own babies after this visit.

January 24, 2023: Push-Ups

January 28, 2023January 24, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah has just struggled into a push-up and at the top grunts and says, "Grrr... nine... ugh..." he looks over at baby Valerie, also in a push-up position as she looks at her blocks and other toys surrounding her on the living room rug. Valerie looks rather unimpressed with her dad's push-up form. Noah then says, "Don't give me that look, Valerie. You do this all day, some of us walk around upright instead."

Valerie doesn’t seem too impressed by Noah‘s push-ups.

January 13, 2023: In the Toy Store

January 13, 2023January 13, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is at the toy store with a few Bono Funko Pops in his shopping cart. He's holding Valerie who is reaching for the Funkos. Noah tells her, "No, Valerie, those are for Mommy's collection. I got you proper teething toys." Valerie continues trying to squirm away and get at the Funkos; Noah pulls her back and says, "No no no. No Funkos for you." Valerie starts screaming. Just then Ursula comes up to Noah with a big smile and a big Lego box, saying, "Daddy! They have the giant Lego Viking ship!" Noah replies, "Not now, Ursula. Maybe for your birthday in June." Ursula growls and grabs Noah's cellphone out of his pocket, then phones Granny Thorsen and tells her, "Granny Thorsen! It's an emergency! We're in the toy store and Daddy won't buy me the Lego Viking ship!" Granny Thorsen replies, "Put the boy on the phone."

Yet another of Noah‘s attempts to teach Valerie and Ursula delayed gratification is thwarted.

January 12, 2023: Valerie’s Chew Funko

January 12, 2023January 12, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is looking under the sofa cushions while Ursula is watching TV. Noah asks, "Ursula, have you seen your mommy's Bono Funko Pop?" Ursula looks over to her right at her baby sister and says, "Valerie's got him." Noah replies, "OK. Don't let her wreck it." Valerie is chewing on the Funko Pop's head with the one tooth she has and has torn the head open. Ursula replies to Noah, "Too late.'

Valerie‘s got a new favorite chew/teething toy… unfortunately it’s her mom‘s favorite Funko Pop: Bono. Looks like a trip to the toy store will be in order to find a replacement.