Noah Thorsen - Noah's Archipelago

Your Responsibility, Daddy

June 12, 2024March 23, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Last Year’s Art Gallery Field Trip

February 5, 2024February 27, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula's teacher, Beryl Fardemar, and Ruth are in the teachers' lounge on their coffee break. Beryl looks anxious and says, "So our field trip to the art gallery is Friday." Ruth replies, "My condolences." Beryl continues, "I heard your husband made a fool of himself last year." Ruth answers, "Noah insists otherwise." Beryl looks confused and asks, "Didn't he do an interpretive dance?" Ruth looks off to the side and says, "It looked more like a seizure, but sure." Alarmed, Beryl mutters to herself, "Dear Lord..." while Ruth shrugs and says, "Look on the bright side: unlike last year, I won't be there, so he won't be on his worst behavior." We see Ruth's memory of part of last year's trip, in which a laughing Noah lies on his back on one of the sculpture platforms with one leg up in the air and calls out to a pregnant Ruth, "Hey Ruth! Draw me like one of your French guys!" Ruth is mortified and covers her face in her hands while Ursula asks, "Mommy, what's Daddy talking about?"

I think I got the allusion to the Titanic movie rather close. It’s a wonder the Art Gallery hasn’t banned Noah for his antics there, but then again he does help with fundraising for the gallery and the museum and is somewhat of a local D list micro-celebrity, sorta.

Playing Chicken

February 5, 2024February 8, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is giving Valerie her bottle and Frank comes up with a coffee cup and says, "Alright, Agnes went to the salon. What's the intel?" Noah smiles and says, "We can have up to 10 hens. Minimum coop size is 40 square feet, but I think we should make it at least 8x8." Frank smiles and replies, "Plenty of room next to the pool." Noah continues, "And the run should be at least 100 square feet. More is better." Frank says, "Like I said." Noah then says, "In theory we get 10 eggs a day for most of the year." Frank smiles and says, "Let's do it... next month when Agnes goes to Vegas with her sisters." Noah replies, "Roger that." Meanwhile Valerie yanks a lock of Noah's hair and pokes him in the throat. Noah says to Valerie, "Ow! Valerie, don't pull Daddy's hair." Frank then says, "Yeah, that's how I lost mine."

Noah and Frank are plotting to get free eggs… well, free after the cost of the coop, the run, the hens, the feed… Meanwhile, Valerie is practising her assassin moves for when she’s big enough to actually be dangerous.

The Pitch

February 5, 2024January 16, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is talking to his old bandmate Gary, who says to Noah, " So Dave's lost his voice and can't do the show on Saturday. You in?" Noah sighs and replies, "Dunno, Gary. I'd like to, but Ruth hates Marilyn Manson. That's why I had to quit the band." Gary rolls his eyes and says, "Oh, c'mon! Live a little." Noah scowls and says, "Ruth would kill me." Gary sneers and retorts, "You gotta stop letting your ol' ball and chain tell you what to do."Noah rolls his eyes and shrugs his shoulders, saying, "One could say the same thing about my ol' bandmates."

It’s true that Noah and Ruth first met at one of Noah’s old Marilyn Manson tribute band gigs, but it didn’t take long before Ruth put an end to Noah’s Antichrist Superstar impersonation days.

Boxing Day

February 7, 2024December 26, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Noah fondly remembers Boxing Days past. I don’t think I ever did the A&B Sound Boxing Day madness, or if I did it was looking for CDs later that afternoon, long after the hardcore dudes had already gone home with their new stereos and TVs. My brother says he used to go line up … Read moreBoxing Day

Noah’s Gift Bags

February 7, 2024December 23, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is sitting at his computer when Ursula approaches him, carrying a roll of Christmas wrapping paper. She offers, "Daddy, I'll wrap your presents for you if you give me ten dollars." Noah smiles and replies, "That's OK, honey. I used gift bags instead; they're more efficient." Ursula scowls and shakes the roll of paper at Noah while telling him, "Presents are better when they're wrapped." Noah rolls his eyes and tells her, "Presents are the same whether they're wrapped or bagged." Not giving up, Ursula retorts, "No, they need to be well-wrapped. Y'know, 'presented'?" Noah grins and asks, "And you'd thinnk that even if you weren't asking me to pay you to wrap?" Ursula replies, "What's that got to do with it?"

Ursula’s entrepreneurialism runs aground on Noah’s obsession with efficiency. Listen, kiddo: you can’t build a successful business just on your family and friends. (This one was inspired by an episode of Nightwave Radio from earlier this week wherein the host, Mersh, was talking about using gift bags and some of the people in his … Read moreNoah’s Gift Bags

Ginger-boardwalk

February 7, 2024December 22, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Noah, Ruth, and Ursula are in the kitchen/dining room making gingerbread houses... well, Ruth made a gingerbread house, Ursula made a gingerbread church, and Noah is putting the finishing frosting touches on a gingerbread Coney Island covering the entire dining table, complete with midway, Ferris wheel, carousel, and candy cane rollercoaster. Noah is licking his lips and thinking, "Almost finished my gingerbread masterpiece: Candy Cane-y Island... Now to protect it from being devoured by Ruth and the kids." Meanwhile Ruth is scowling and thinking, "Guess we're eating in the living room for a while..." and Ursula is glaring at Noah and thinking "Show off!"

Noah goes overboard with the gingerbread… why build a house when you can build Coney Island? Er, “Cane-y Island”.

Happy Solstice!

February 7, 2024December 21, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

The Thorsens are all gathered around the Christmas tree, celebrating the winter solstice and Yule by opening their presents from Granny Thorsen and "Odin." Baby Valerie is playing with the ripped up wrapping paper and Ursula has opened her presents: an iPad from "Odin" and a hand-knit sweater from Granny Thorsen. She smiles and says "Weird how Odin's handrwriting looks so much like Granny Thorsen's..." Noah stands behind her and scowls at Duke and Adam, with his finger over his lips shushing them. Duke says nothing and Adam says, "Freak coincidence, sis."

Christmas is still a few days away, but Yule/the solstice is today, aka the day the Thorsens open presents from Granny Thorsen… er, “Odin.” Wait til Ursula notices how Santa’s handwriting is the same as Grandma Agnes‘. (We also see Granny Thorsen’s first name in the runes: Hrefna. And yeah, she wouldn’t write “from” … Read moreHappy Solstice!

Rise and Shine (Again)

February 7, 2024December 19, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

We see Ursula's alarm clock reading 5:30am. Noah says, "Rise and shine, little robotics engineer!" Ursula groans, "Ugh... not again!" As she yawns and rubs her eyes, Noah stands next to her bed and tells her, "Your mission this week is to build me a laundry folding robot." Ursula scowls and says, "Why do we have to fold laundry? We can just leave the clean stuff in a pile on a chair like Duke does." Noah smiles and replies, "Because that's the assignment from the client." Ursula points out, "Don't clients have to pay for stuff to be built?" Noah replies, "Think of all the money you'll make selling the laundry folding robots." Not swayed, Ursula asks, "Won't I have to pay taxes if I make money?" Noah says, "Yes, but—" and Ursula interrupts him, "So really I'm saving money by staying in bed." Noah scowls and says, "That's not the point!" as Ursula reaches over and turns off her bedside lamp and says, "See you around noon."

History doesn’t quite repeat itself as Ursula isn’t complying with early morning starts on robotics homeschool like she did during Viking homeschool. And when it comes to a battle of wills between Noah’s laziness in not wanting to fold laundry and Ursula’s laziness in not wanting to get up out of bed or build … Read moreRise and Shine (Again)

Girl Viking Stuff

February 7, 2024December 16, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

After lunch, Ursula is leaning on the kitchen island, sulking and Noah tells her, "Alright, little Viking: your mom's gonna teach you important girl Viking stuff." Wary, Ursula asks, "Like what?" Noah replies, "Dunno. Go find out." Ursula finds Ruth in her craft room, standing in front of a vertical loom. Ruth asks Ursula, "Did you get all the way to England yet?" Ursula replies, "Nope! I hate rowing." Ruth smiles and says, "Well, Ursula, in Viking times, girls didn't go raiding, so no rowing." Furious, Ursula shakes her fists and says, "Wait, what?!? I didn't have to row? I could have been watching cartoons instead?" Ruth smiles and says, "No, there were no cartoons then. You'd do chores instead: cooking, cleaning, tending to animals, gathering firewood... and in your spare time, spinning and weaving." Ursula groans and Ruth says, "Isn't Viking homeschool fun?"

Ruth gets in on the homeschooling, despite her earlier hesitations. PS: I’ve been told that actually women did raid in Viking times. On the other hand, I’ve seen talks from experts saying that women stayed home during the raids and wouldn’t come til settlements were being established. Still other sources said women participated in … Read moreGirl Viking Stuff