February 25, 2023: Driftwood

Noah and Ursula are walking on the beach (all bundled up for the cold winds, though Noah as always has his shirt unbuttoned, baring his hairy chest). Ursula comes up to Noah with a strangely shaped piece of driftwood, saying "Daddy, look at this neat bit of driftwood!" Noah smiles and says, "Very cool! Now put it back." Annoyed, Ursula asks, "Why can't I take it home?" Noah scowls and answers, "Because driftwood prevents erosion." Ursula surveys the beach, replete with logs and chunks of driftwood, and says, "There's lots of other driftwood and logs." Noah replies, "Still." Now furious at being stymied, Ursula sneers, "This is because it's sandy and you just vacuumed your car, isn't it?" Noah is unmoved, repeating his prior command: "Put it back." Ursula obeys but complains, "Ugh... Grandma lets me keep the driftwood." Noah retorts, "That's cause Agnes doesn't vacuum her own car."


Can’t bring the whole beach home, Ursula. And you guys only live about 20 minutes away, anyway.

(Inspired by Island View Beach just north of where the Thorsens live in Victoria, BC, which has signs up all over the place telling people to not take any of the logs or driftwood due to the erosion factor.)