Valerie Thorsen - Noah's Archipelago

For Better or For UPS

October 13, 2024July 31, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Noah plays the UPS martyr.

Failed Delivery Attempts

October 13, 2024July 29, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Ruth is away at a conference but that doesn’t stop her from keeping tabs on her deliveries.

Or lack thereof.

Spying on Noah

October 13, 2024July 8, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Agnes and her friend spy on Noah while he takes poolside selfies.

The Thorsens Go Camping

October 13, 2024July 3, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

The Thorsens go for their annual camping trip, and Ursula has opinions.

Ursula Hates Weddings

July 19, 2024June 17, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is getting ready for another wedding gig while Ursula remembers a boring wedding she got dragged to a while back.

Noah the Butthurt

March 13, 2024March 8, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Noah has pulled a butt cheek on the squat and Agnes and Ursula have opinions.

Noah overdid things on the squat rack and Ursula and Agnes turn hecklers.

Happy Leap Year!

March 13, 2024February 29, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula refuses to play by Noah's costumed selfie rules

Noah and Valerie are dressed up as frogs for Leap Day, but Ursula would rather be a T-Rex. Happy Leap Day!

Chaos Never Dies

February 16, 2024November 11, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Last Year’s Art Gallery Field Trip

February 5, 2024February 27, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula's teacher, Beryl Fardemar, and Ruth are in the teachers' lounge on their coffee break. Beryl looks anxious and says, "So our field trip to the art gallery is Friday." Ruth replies, "My condolences." Beryl continues, "I heard your husband made a fool of himself last year." Ruth answers, "Noah insists otherwise." Beryl looks confused and asks, "Didn't he do an interpretive dance?" Ruth looks off to the side and says, "It looked more like a seizure, but sure." Alarmed, Beryl mutters to herself, "Dear Lord..." while Ruth shrugs and says, "Look on the bright side: unlike last year, I won't be there, so he won't be on his worst behavior." We see Ruth's memory of part of last year's trip, in which a laughing Noah lies on his back on one of the sculpture platforms with one leg up in the air and calls out to a pregnant Ruth, "Hey Ruth! Draw me like one of your French guys!" Ruth is mortified and covers her face in her hands while Ursula asks, "Mommy, what's Daddy talking about?"

I think I got the allusion to the Titanic movie rather close. It’s a wonder the Art Gallery hasn’t banned Noah for his antics there, but then again he does help with fundraising for the gallery and the museum and is somewhat of a local D list micro-celebrity, sorta.

Playing Chicken

February 5, 2024February 8, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is giving Valerie her bottle and Frank comes up with a coffee cup and says, "Alright, Agnes went to the salon. What's the intel?" Noah smiles and says, "We can have up to 10 hens. Minimum coop size is 40 square feet, but I think we should make it at least 8x8." Frank smiles and replies, "Plenty of room next to the pool." Noah continues, "And the run should be at least 100 square feet. More is better." Frank says, "Like I said." Noah then says, "In theory we get 10 eggs a day for most of the year." Frank smiles and says, "Let's do it... next month when Agnes goes to Vegas with her sisters." Noah replies, "Roger that." Meanwhile Valerie yanks a lock of Noah's hair and pokes him in the throat. Noah says to Valerie, "Ow! Valerie, don't pull Daddy's hair." Frank then says, "Yeah, that's how I lost mine."

Noah and Frank are plotting to get free eggs… well, free after the cost of the coop, the run, the hens, the feed… Meanwhile, Valerie is practising her assassin moves for when she’s big enough to actually be dangerous.