Frank Burgoyne - Noah's Archipelago

Grandpa Frank’s Ruling

April 11, 2025November 23, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Grandpa Frank delivers his verdict.

Noah Appeals to a Higher Authority

April 11, 2025November 12, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Noah takes his case to a higher court, that of his father-in-law Frank.

Father’s Day 2024

July 19, 2024June 15, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

Father’s Day gets in the way of Frank and Noah’s Sunday morning fishin’ plans.

Watching the Northern Lights

May 26, 2024May 11, 2024 by Pyra Draculea

The Thorsens and the Burgoynes—well, most of them—enjoy the rare display of the Northern Lights down in Victoria, BC.

Playing Chicken

February 5, 2024February 8, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is giving Valerie her bottle and Frank comes up with a coffee cup and says, "Alright, Agnes went to the salon. What's the intel?" Noah smiles and says, "We can have up to 10 hens. Minimum coop size is 40 square feet, but I think we should make it at least 8x8." Frank smiles and replies, "Plenty of room next to the pool." Noah continues, "And the run should be at least 100 square feet. More is better." Frank says, "Like I said." Noah then says, "In theory we get 10 eggs a day for most of the year." Frank smiles and says, "Let's do it... next month when Agnes goes to Vegas with her sisters." Noah replies, "Roger that." Meanwhile Valerie yanks a lock of Noah's hair and pokes him in the throat. Noah says to Valerie, "Ow! Valerie, don't pull Daddy's hair." Frank then says, "Yeah, that's how I lost mine."

Noah and Frank are plotting to get free eggs… well, free after the cost of the coop, the run, the hens, the feed… Meanwhile, Valerie is practising her assassin moves for when she’s big enough to actually be dangerous.

Inflatables

February 7, 2024November 26, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Noah and Frank are digging out the big box of Christmas lights. Agnes has her coat on and says to Frank, "OK, we're going antiquing. Make sure you keep things tasteful with the lights." Frank replies, "Yes, dear" while Noah grins slyly and says nothing. Once Agnes has left, Frank turns to Noah and says, "Alright, the wives are gone. Go get the giant tacky inflatables." Noah smiles and says, "On it!"

You just know that as soon as Agnes returns and is annoyed, Frank is going to try to say the inflatables were Noah’s idea.

Happy Thanksgiving!

February 7, 2024November 24, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Ruth and Agnes are drinking coffee at Agnes' kitchen table. In the background we see Noah and Frank sitting on the antique sofa, sleeping. Ursula comes up to Ruth and Agnes and points at her dad and granddad and says, "OK, they're asleep. Now can we order pizza?"

Noah and Frank are in food comas and Ursula wants pizza… again… happy Thanksgiving!

Noah the Muffin Man

February 7, 2024November 16, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Noah brings a tray of fresh muffins to his in-laws' doorstep to bribe his way into some babysitting.

Noah knows exactly how to bribe his way into getting what he wants, and Frank is very, very bribeable.

“Tragic Canoe Accident”

February 5, 2024November 3, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula is bored as her grandmother drones on about family history and her grandfather reads the paper, oblivious.

Ursula shouldn’t have said she needed to write an essay on family history if she didn’t want to get a book’s worth of information from Grandma Agnes.

Pool Party at the In-Laws, Part 1

April 17, 2024August 1, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Ruth's father seeks to cut a limb off the family tree.

Noah had better stay a landlubber.