Hey all… time to snoop through Noah’s diary again. Why? Because we can.
Tuesday, October 28, 2025, 9:30am: Ursula still won’t tell me what her costume’s gonna be and it’s driving me crazy. I mean, I know she has one in mind because she had me buy her some fake fur on the weekend. It was weird ‘cause she wouldn’t tell me what for and she seemed to only want a small piece but I told her, you need at least a whole metre of it for a costume but she wouldn’t take more than a half-metre.
So that means the fur is only trim or something. And Ruth said she hasn’t asked her to make her costume for her, so it doesn’t make sense because Ursula refuses to learn to sew so how’s she gonna add fur trim? Glue? A glue stick won’t hold fake fur and I keep the superglue and the hot glue gun locked up where she can’t get at ‘em.
Plus, Ruth says Ursula got her to buy her a peach leotard and claimed it was for a “top secret fruit project” with her friend Lily but Lily’s mom doesn’t know anything about it.
Well, I guess if it’s top secret she wouldn’t.
And then yesterday her big brother Adam took her shopping, but he won’t tell me anything. I did go snooping through her room this morning after dropping her off at school, but all I found was a witch wig from the Halloween store and a cheap pink karaoke microphone. The microphone might not be for Halloween except it’s new and she hates karaoke. Maybe she’s finally gonna join the school choir and just wants it to be a surprise?
I did find some clothes I haven’t seen before like sparkly red pants and a satin turquoise blouse, but I guess Agnes dragged her to the mall last week… she’s always trying to get Ursula to dress up nicer and it never works.
So… witch wig and fake fur but no witch hat or black dress or cape.
Wait… maybe she’s gonna go as a pop star? Sparkly red pants and microphone? But then what’s with the witch wig?
I should stop by the Halloween store on my way home from Costco today and get her a punk rocker wig. Or a blonde bangs wig so she can dress up as Taylor Swift.
I mean, she says she hates Taylor Swift, but how could she? That’s like back in the ‘80s when kids used to say they hated U2. Everybody likes U2.
Sure, some people take liking U2 too far, and some people find Bono annoying and preachy, but still. Everybody should like U2 at least a little bit.
So then if Ursula goes trick-or-treating as Taylor Swift, I’ll go as Bono. But if she goes as a witch, I have a wizard costume.
Maybe she didn’t get a witch hat because she wants to borrow my wizard hat. I dunno if it’ll fit her, though. I got a big head… or so my bandmates always tell me.
None of her drawings give me any clues, either. Just the usual stuff: her Mr. Boogerman cartoons, dinosaurs, the school being struck by lightning, drawings of her Uncle Norm’s horses, buncha what look like maps of the local park if there was pirate gold to be found in it… it’s been a whole two months since the cops brought her home at 1am for digging in the park after sneaking out. I hope my little talk about make-believe got through to her. It’s fun to pretend there might be pirate gold in the park down the street but sneaking out of the house to go digging in the park is wrong.
Besides, there weren’t pirates here. And her theory about the Confederates hiding gold in Victoria so the Union wouldn’t steal it just makes no sense whatsoever. I mean, wouldn’t they just hide it in their own turf? Or maybe in Cuba or something?
She just rolled her eyes and said they lie about everything else in school so of course they lied and said there were no pirates here.
Anyway, we put sensors on her window so when she tries to climb out at night it sets off the alarm. She can still get out in a real emergency, of course, but we’ll hear if she’s going prospecting.
Mind you, the weather’s getting crappy, so that might have put the pirate gold-digging project on hold til spring. Ursula hates cold, wet weather. She takes after Ma that way.
Uh oh… I hear the baby crying, time to change her.
