Hey all… it’s Tuesday, the day we snoop through Noah’s diary. Why? Because we can. And because cartoon characters can’t sue for invasion of privacy.
Tuesday, February 17, 2026, 9:35am: Ugh… think I’m coming down with a cold, hope it’s better by my Saturday gig with the Bon Jovi tribute band.
Rotten kids… not Ursula, or at least I hope she wasn’t involved in the third grade plot to tackle her ol’ man in front of the giant fountain at the legislature and dunk me into it.
She was holding my phone filming it, but that’s ‘cause my tripod was busted and I asked her to film me singing Extreme’s “When I’m President” in front of the fountain with the legislature framing the shot. Y’know, for an Instagram reel and to post on YouTube.
I know Ruth kinda groans about those Instagram reels and so does her mother, especially in the summer when I film them in front of our mutual pool, but like I tell ‘em: I get so many wedding gig bookings from those Instagram reels. And the Knotheads charge 5 grand a wedding and after band expenses my take-home cut is almost grand.
Well, I guess it’s not really take-home because that’s gotta be after taxes… still. We did 50 weddings last year, plus I had loads of other gigs with the other bands. It all adds up.
They should be happy I’m out there singing “I Will Always Love You” while dressed like Big Bird. Who cares what the neighbors think?
Anyway, the fountain reel was more for my regular cover band as I don’t have an Extreme tribute band and it’s not usually a song brides request for wedding gigs—except for that one boss babe who wanted to send a message to her co-workers who were invited—but it’s not too soon for people to see it and book my cover band for Christmas party gigs. I mean, we’re usually booked solid by August and that’s not really that far away.
Plus we do corporate gigs, too… for a premium fee.
Point is, I was minding my own business, with Ursula acting as a human phone tripod, when two columns of rabid third graders came running at me from either side and shoved me into the fountain, ruining my reel. And Ursula got it all on camera.
She did suggest the fountain ending might make for a better video, which is BS… but I suppose there is a chance it might go viral. I’ll find out tomorrow, I guess.
In any case, this was all right before we were to go inside for the tour of the legislature and I was sopping wet.
I did call Chris from my Creed and Bon Jovi tributes because he lives downtown and we’re about the same size, so he got there within 20 minutes with a change of clothes and he even lent me a pair of sneakers.
He was kinda pissed I interrupted his crypto day trading but I guess he had some puts in or whatever so it was OK. Also, as I pointed out, I wouldn’t have bothered him except for these damned kids.
Anyway, the field trip was over by noon and we dropped the little monsters off back at Oak Meadows Elementary and I went home to get changed into normal clothes and throw my wet stuff in the wash, then I took Chris’ stuff back to him, got an earful about what’s going on in crypto this week, and by the time that was over, it was time to rush back to Oak Meadows to fetch Ursula, who was hanging out in Ruth’s classroom chattering about how funny the fountain incident was.
I really hope she wasn’t involved in the push plot. If so, she’s grounded ’til she’s 30.
Ruth, for her part, was busy grading spelling tests and was much more interested in hearing what was for dinner than about the fountain incident. Well, I hadn’t had time to make dinner thanks to the third grade monsters, and usually when I haven’t had time to make dinner we do pizza, but I didn’t want to reward a certain potential co-conspirator so I said I was gonna make spaghetti and Ursula was sufficiently annoyed by that while Ruth was fine with it so long as I made a salad too.
