Ursula Thorsen - Noah's Archipelago

Agnes Returns

February 7, 2024December 17, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Agnes stands next to her suitcase, arms open to Ursula running towards her. Ursula says to her, "Grandma! Thank God you're back from Mexico! They made me do chores and learn Danish and row!" Grandma Agnes smiles and replies, "Oh, how fun! Did you row all the way to England?" Ursula groans, "Ugh... no!" and Agnes replies, "That's OK. You'll get there."

Not quite the response Ursula was hoping to get out of Grandma Agnes.

Girl Viking Stuff

February 7, 2024December 16, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

After lunch, Ursula is leaning on the kitchen island, sulking and Noah tells her, "Alright, little Viking: your mom's gonna teach you important girl Viking stuff." Wary, Ursula asks, "Like what?" Noah replies, "Dunno. Go find out." Ursula finds Ruth in her craft room, standing in front of a vertical loom. Ruth asks Ursula, "Did you get all the way to England yet?" Ursula replies, "Nope! I hate rowing." Ruth smiles and says, "Well, Ursula, in Viking times, girls didn't go raiding, so no rowing." Furious, Ursula shakes her fists and says, "Wait, what?!? I didn't have to row? I could have been watching cartoons instead?" Ruth smiles and says, "No, there were no cartoons then. You'd do chores instead: cooking, cleaning, tending to animals, gathering firewood... and in your spare time, spinning and weaving." Ursula groans and Ruth says, "Isn't Viking homeschool fun?"

Ruth gets in on the homeschooling, despite her earlier hesitations. PS: I’ve been told that actually women did raid in Viking times. On the other hand, I’ve seen talks from experts saying that women stayed home during the raids and wouldn’t come til settlements were being established. Still other sources said women participated in … Read moreGirl Viking Stuff

Smørrebrød

February 7, 2024December 15, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

With the Danish lesson over, Ursula goes to find Noah in the kitchen. He pats her on the head and asks, "Er du kommet til England endnu?" (translation: Did you get to England yet?") Ursula, shocked at hearing him address her in Danish, and still not clear on what any of that means, says "Huh?" and Noah repeats himself in English: "Did you row to England yet?" Ursula scowls and says, "No. How about you row and I raid?" Noah grins and tells her, "Because you're the apprentice Viking and because I'm busy making pickled herring smørrebrød for lunch." Ursula makes a disgusted scrunched up face and says, "Eww... can we order pizza instead?" Noah smiles and replies, "Vikings didn't have pizza. But if you think about it, this is the same: bread with toppings." Ursula scowls and says, "Gross toppings. I want proper pizza!" Noah grins and tells her, "Well, get rowing. Denmark to Italy is 3450 miles."

The “bread with toppings” pizza joke is an old one, but hey, it fits. Ursula have to be a world class athlete to row from “Denmark” to “Italy,” but we all know she ain’t rowing anywhere.

Danish Immersion

February 7, 2024December 14, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Viking homeschool continues with Noah and Ursula in front of their computer on a Facetime video call with Noah's mom, Granny Thorsen. Noah tells Ursula, "Alright, little Viking, now you need to learn to communicate with your fellow Vikings. That means Danish immersion. Take it away, Ma." Granny Thorsen speaks to Ursula in Danish, saying, "Er du kommet til England endnu?" (translation: Did you get to England yet?, referencing the rowing). Ursula tells Granny Thorsen, "It's OK, Granny. Daddy left, you can talk normal." To Ursula's dismay, Granny Thorsen continues to speak in Danish: "Nej, du skal lære vores sprog. Dansk er det største af de skandinaviske sprog, trods hvad nordmændene hævder." (translation: No, you need to learn our language. Danish is the greatest of the Scandinavian languages, no matter what the Norwegians say.) Ursula says, "I don't understand a word you said, Granny!" Granny Thorsen replies, "Du vil forstå med tiden. Nu, på dansk kalder du mig 'Farmor'..." (translation: You'll understand in time. Now, in Danish you call me 'Father's mother'....)

Granny Thorsen joins in the Viking homeschool fun, much to Ursula‘s confusion and consternation. PS: I hope I got the Danish correct; I used Google Translate as I only know a teeny bit of Norwegian and that’s from Duolingo, lol… I think it’s kinda right.

Rowing to “England”

February 7, 2024December 13, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

Noah introduces Ursula to her first task as a Viking: rowing. She sits sideways on the seat of his fancy new rowing machine, scowling with her arms crossed as he explains: "Alright young Viking apprentice, before you can raid, you gotta row." Ursula asks, "Ugh... how long do I have to row? 5 minutes?" Noah smiles and tells her, "Denmark to England is 360 miles." Furious, Ursula snarls, "What?!? I'm telling Granny Thorsen!" Without missing a beat, Noah tells Ursula, "Sure thing! Denmark to Florida is 5100 miles."

Hmm… suddenly Ursula doesn’t seem so eager to get to “England” to raid.

Rise and Shine

February 7, 2024December 12, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

We see Ruth's alarm clock reading 5:30. Noah says to her, "Rising and shine, little Viking. Time for school!" Ursula refuses to turn over and mumbles, "No school today. Christmas break." Noah, standing beside her bed, replies, "No, homeschool today!" Ursula mumbles, "Yeah, yeah. See you around noon." Noah, undeterred, says, "No, Viking homeschool today. Get up." Bleary-eyed, Ursula looks at her alarm clock: "5:30?!? I don't have to get up 'til 7:45 for regular school!!" Noah smiles and tells her, "The early bird gets the English monastery gold." Ursula asks him, "And what does the late bird get?" Noah replies, "Tossed overboard." Ursula says, "Sounds good to me." Annoyed, Noah adjusts his reply: "Tossed overboard and tasked with changing her baby sister's diapers this week." That gets the desired response as Ursula says, "Ewww... fine, I'll get up..."

Ursula gets her first taste of Noah‘s Viking homeschool lesson plan. Careful what you wish for, kiddo.

The Homeschooling Scheme

February 7, 2024December 9, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

It's Friday morning and Ursula is once again complaining about having to go to school, saying to Noah, "Ugh... stupid boring school again... wish I could homeschool..." Noah scowls and thinks "Oh Hell naw..." as he hands Ursula her lunch, but he asks, "What would you rather be learning about?" Ursula says, "Cartoons!" Noah grins as a plan starts to develop and he says, "OK. And what about robots? Robots are cool." Ursula says, "Sure!" Noah continues, "And Vikings?" An excited Ursula replies, "Yeah!" Noah then grins and tells her, "Well, tell you what: let's use the Christmas break as your homeschooling test run and see how that goes." Ursula smiles and says, "Cool! No more school for me!" Noah thinks to himself, "yeah, we'll see about that..."

Careful what you wish for, Ursula! And you’d think by now she’d know to be wary of Noah‘s grin.

Clue

February 7, 2024December 8, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

I remember annoying my family members with my obsession with playing Clue when I was around Ursula’s age. Good times… probably not for them, though.

Pictionary

February 7, 2024December 7, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

It’s like rain on your wedding day, it’s like a bad Pictionary clue that Noah just can’t make. It might have also helped if Noah hadn’t gotten the videos for “Ironic” and “Thank You” all mixed up, but hey, it’s not like the kids know what Noah’s talking about anyway.

Risk

February 7, 2024December 6, 2022 by Pyra Draculea

I hate Risk, too, Ursula… and for the same reason: I always lose to my big brother, too.