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February 4, 2023: Noah’s New Toy

February 16, 2023February 4, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah and Ruth are in the bedroom. Ruth waves her hand at Noah, who is dressed up like Cupid with wings and a bit of fabric wrapped around his hips. Noah is holding a small purple toy bow and a rubber suction cup tipped arrow. Ruth asks, "Is that Ursula's new bow?" Noah is grinning and says, "Nope, it's her old toy one." Ruth tells him, "Put that away for Valerie!" Noah replies, "Valerie won't be old enough for it for a few years. Til then, it's part of my Cupid costume. Now hold still so I can get you."

Noah‘s a little early for Valentine’s Day.

February 3, 2023: Not Enough

February 16, 2023February 3, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Ruth and Noah are on the living room floor playing with Valerie and talking about Ursula's new sport. "I was thinking something more active like soccer." Noah replies, "Ursula doesn't like team sports." Meanwhile, in the background, Valerie tries to reach her favorite chew toy: the now-mangled Funko Bono. Ruth rolls her eyes and continues, "Archery doesn't involve much fitness." Noah smiles and counters, "Duke says it builds focus, strength, and hand-eye coordination." Unconvinced, Ruth says, "But it's not exercise!" Noah answers, "Duke says they have 3D competitions which involve a lot of walking." Valerie has now gotten a hold of Funko Bono and is chewing on his head. Seeing this, Noah tells her, "Valerie, I know you like Funko Bono, but use a proper teether..." He hold out a teether to Valerie, but she is uninterested. Ruth replies to Noah's comment about competitions, scowling and saying, "Noah! That's not enough!" Noah looks over his shoulder at Ruth as he yanks Funko Bono away from Valerie, then says to Ruth, "Look, honey: we got her to pick a sport. Next we get her to practise. Then we guilt trip Duke into letting his sister tag along during bowhunting season so she gets actual exercise." As he says all this, Valerie has turned around and is reaching again for Funko Bono while we see Noah's imagining of a sweating Ursula, face painted in camo, hiking with a giant backpack complete with her pink recurve bow tied to the top of it.

That’s one idea, Noah… but you forgot that Duke has already informed Ursula that there might be bugs involved with bowhunting, so…

Bowhunting?

April 14, 2025February 2, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Duke and Ursula are sitting on the sofa. Duke says, "So I hear you wanna be a bowhunter." Ursula is confused and replies, "Huh?" Duke then says, "Aren't you taking up archery?" Ursula replies, still confused, "Yeah?" Duke rolls his eyes and explains, "Well, it's either bowhunting or target archery." Ursula asks, "What's the difference?" Duke tells her, "In bowhunting, you'll also go hiking and camping and—" Ursula interrupts and makes a grossed-out face with her tongue sticking out. She says "Ewww... isn't camping just sleeping on the ground with bugs?" Duke replies, "Target archery it is, then."

Can confirm: camping is just sleeping on the ground with bugs. Duke isn’t bothered, but Princess Ursula is certainly not into anything involving bugs.

February 1, 2023: The Rec Guide

January 31, 2023February 1, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula is drawing at the kitchen table. Noah comes up to her and offers her a brochure. Ursula asks, "What's this?" and Noah replies, "The rec guide. Let's choose a few activities for you." Ursula peruses the guide, grins, and says, "I'll take the animation and the Lego robotics." Noah replies, "OK. And a sport?" and Ursula says, "Nope." Noah then tells her, "Mommy wants you to find a sport." Ursula raises an eyebrow and replies, "Mommy wants a lot of things." Noah rolls his eyes and says, "Oh, c'mon... at least have a look at the sports section." Ursula scowls and says, "I don't wanna." Finally Noah resorts to bribery: "Tell you what, Ursula: You pick a sport and I promise we'll get pizza every other week after class." Ursula groans but finally budges, saying, "I guess archery is the least sport-like sport. Now, about that pizza..."

Looks like Ursula is tired of the suction cup fake arrows.

Ursula Needs A Sport

April 13, 2025January 31, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Ruth and Noah are in bed, talking about the kids while Noah reads the latest issue of Mojo Music Magazine. Ruth says, "We need to get Ursula into some sort of sports this year." Noah smiles and replies, "She's allergic to sports." Undaunted, Ruth continues, "But she needs to be more active." Noah raises an eyebrow and says, "Yes, dear, I know." Ruth muses, "She hates sports, she hates dance... is there anything she IS interested in?" Noah pauses and replies, "Um... is carnival knife throwing a sport?"

No, Noah, carnival knife throwing is not a sport, no matter how much Ursula wants to try it.

January 30, 2023: Fitness Goals

February 1, 2023January 30, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah and Adam are talking in the kitchen. Adam sighs, rolls his eyes, and says, "You wanna get fit? Come pump iron with me." Noah is wary and asks, "I'm not gonna end up looking like Glenn Danzig, am I?" Annoyed, Adam asks, "What's wrong with looking like Danzig?" as he pictures a young and buff Danzig on stage. Noah replies, "Well, he's no Mick Jagger." as he envisions an older but still slim and spry Jagger dancing around onstage. Adam facepalms and points out, "Neither are you." Noah is irked and retorts, "No, but I have goals." Just then Ursula pops up with her chin on the dining room table and asks, "Can I pump iron?" Adam, hands on hips, tells her, "You're too little. Come back in 5 years." Ursula is annoyed and asks, hands on hips, "Can I at least come point and laugh?" Adam tells her, "No. Go play in traffic." This annoys Noah who yells, also hands on hips, "Adam!" before then adding, "Honey, go watch cartoons." to get Ursula to leave them alone.

“Go play in traffic” was my maternal uncles’ favorite retort when us kids were being annoying in the ’80s. Anyway, one might wonder why Noah doesn’t ask Ruth whether she’d prefer a Danzig physique or a Jagger one… but she might tell him Bono, in which case Noah’s kinda already there. Side note: in … Read moreJanuary 30, 2023: Fitness Goals