Hey all… time to snoop through Noah’s diary again. Why? Because we can.
Tuesday, November 25, 2025, 9:30am: Ugh… I’m sick. It sucks.
And not just because Ruth keeps rolling her eyes about me having a “man cold” or that her and the girls have headed over to the big house for a few days ’til they figure I’m no longer contagious, but the thing is man colds really are brutal. It’s science.
I feel like someone smacked me in the schnozz with a sledgehammer. And then ran me over with a steamroller.
And really, I don’t think them moving to Agnes & Frank’s across the yard is even gonna matter, because Ruth’s niece Abigail was sniffly at church on Sunday morning and we all sat in the same pew at the cathedral, so I think we’re all getting the plague this week. Us and the family in the pew ahead of us, because Abigail sneezed on their baby during the sign of peace thing.
I was tempted to say, “Germs be with you,” but the last time I did that Ruth got really mad, so…
Point is, I think we’re all getting Abigail’s plague; I’m just the one who showed signs of it first.
Kinda mad at myself because usually I’m on top of making sure I don’t get sick, loading up with vitamins and hand sanitizer and all that so I don’t miss gigs. But it’s November and I don’t have so many wedding gigs and when I ran out of astralagus at Halloween and figured I was fine with just my daily echinacea tea in the mornings until it went on sale again.
Fortunately, I don’t have any gigs this week. Hopefully I’m better by next week because I have three Christmas party gigs in a row Thursday through Saturday.
Howie’s pissed I’m missing rehearsal tonight but I bet he didn’t learn his parts for those gigs anyway and is gonna do his usual thing of just winging it and wanking out a solo that doesn’t belong and saying he’s improving the songs. Sigh… there’s not supposed to be a guitar solo in “Silent Night.” But that never stopped Howie any previous year.
Also, he’s pissed I’m missing rehearsal tonight but also he always insists singers don’t actually do anything useful so what difference does it make?
Whatever.
Ursula’s spent all afternoon & evening yesterday texting me to look out the window at the big house, then making crazy faces at me. Also she seems to think I’m gonna make her chocolate chip cookies and take them over because Agnes and Frank have store-bought oatmeal cookies and she doesn’t like those ones but I told her we’re out of chocolate chips. Also, I’m kinda needing to nap.
At least I can take comfort in the fact that Ursula prefers my homemade cookies. Or maybe it’s just because she wants chocolate, I dunno.
She did try to come back in here yesterday after school because she wanted to catch my cold so she can skip school later this week when they have a big spelling test but Ruth caught her and dragged her back to the big house.
I have a feeling Ursula’s gonna get her wish anyway because she was sitting right next to her big cousin Abigail at church.
Ruth might escape it but then she’s probably already been exposed to all the germs from being a second grade teacher. I think she’s immune to everything at this point, or at least she only seems to get sick on Christmas break and spring break and sometimes not even then.
I saw Agnes walking back and forth in her living room with Valerie, trying to get her to settle down. But Valerie’s used to falling asleep in her baby swing when I’m making reels and singing songs when practising during the day or playing piano and frankly I think at this point she kinda needs old Bon Jovi songs to lull her to sleep. Takes, like, a minute of “Bad Medicine” and she’s out like a light.
Agnes, of course, is not going be caught dead singing Bon Jovi and thus the baby is gonna keep fussing all day.
Well… I told her. And she doesn’t even have to sing it, just find it on YouTube and play it from there.
Anyway, my head is pounding. Think I’m gonna take a Tylenol and a hot cup of Egyptian licorice tea and curl up on the sofa and watch the Price Is Right while the Roomba does its thing. Let it never be said by Ruth that I didn’t vacuum while I was in the throes of the Man Cold.
Or, y’know, have the robot do it.
Close enough.
Then I think there’s some reruns of Sister Wives and some Real Housewives in the afternoon, just so long as I remember to flip it to The Nature of Things at 3 so I can pretend I was watching educational stuff all day. I mean, I think Ruth knows I watch trashy TV, but we pretend like I don’t and like she doesn’t and that works for us.
Wait… Ruth’s gonna be going straight to the big house… Housewives marathon, here I come!
