January, 2023 - Noah's Archipelago

January 19, 2023: The Wardrobe Malfunction

January 28, 2023January 19, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is up in the attic, digging through his old stage costumes and he finds his old sheer bodysuit with feather epaulets (modelled after one Marilyn Manson wore in the late 90s). Noah thinks to himself, "Here it is, should still fit... but it won't hurt to make sure..." We then see a giant RIP tear across the comic panel, revealing Noah wearing the body suit, now torn along the side seams to show large swaths of Noah's hairy flanks and outer thighs. Wide-eyed in dismay, Noah thinks, "Seriously? I didn't eat that much over Christmas! Guess I'm going as middle-aged Marilyn Manson..."

So much for that Mechanical Animals-era Marilyn Manson costume… (inspired by the one MM wore here in the late ’90s)… Noah better start hitting that rowing machine he got for Viking homeschool. Well, if it makes ya feel better, Noah: MM couldn’t fit into his old sheer bodysuit now either and would also pop … Read moreJanuary 19, 2023: The Wardrobe Malfunction

January 18, 2023: The Reluctant Babysitter

January 28, 2023January 18, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Duke and Noah are talking. Duke looks annoyed and says, "Nope. Saturday is date night." Noah won't accept this and says, "Oh, c'mon! You two can hang out here. Ursula's in bed by 8, bring a movie to watch." Duke replies, "Bethany's gonna be pissed." Surprised, Noah says, "What? She loves kids!" Duke rolls his eyes and says, "In the abstract." Noah grins and says, "Well, you two need some practical experience for when you start having your own." Duke is pissed off and crosses his arms, scowling, "Bethany's gonna kill me. And Ruth's gonna kill you." Noah replies, "Cool, so you'll do it?"

Noah leans on Duke to cover for him on the night of the gig and babysit his little sisters, Saturday date night be damned.

January 17, 2023: The Opportunity

January 28, 2023January 17, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is outside grilling steak for dinner, wearing a red apron that says KISS THE COOK. Ruth comes up to Noah and puts her hand on his shoulder and tells him, "So we're all going out for drinks on Saturday night to celebrate Beryl's birthday. I hope you don't mind." Noah grins and replies, "No, of course not! Have fun!" He then thinks, "Looks like I can do the Marilyn Manson tribute gig after all..."

Noah sees and seizes his opportunity.

The Pitch

February 5, 2024January 16, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is talking to his old bandmate Gary, who says to Noah, " So Dave's lost his voice and can't do the show on Saturday. You in?" Noah sighs and replies, "Dunno, Gary. I'd like to, but Ruth hates Marilyn Manson. That's why I had to quit the band." Gary rolls his eyes and says, "Oh, c'mon! Live a little." Noah scowls and says, "Ruth would kill me." Gary sneers and retorts, "You gotta stop letting your ol' ball and chain tell you what to do."Noah rolls his eyes and shrugs his shoulders, saying, "One could say the same thing about my ol' bandmates."

It’s true that Noah and Ruth first met at one of Noah’s old Marilyn Manson tribute band gigs, but it didn’t take long before Ruth put an end to Noah’s Antichrist Superstar impersonation days.

January 14, 2023: Ruth’s Discovery

January 28, 2023January 14, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah and Ruth are tidying up in the living room: Ruth is kneeling on the floor collecting toys into a pile and Noah is polishing the piano with his back to Ruth. They're catching up on the week's events and Noah is saying, "So Frank and I got all the lights taken down and—" Ruth suddenly screams, "Aaaarrrggghh! What happened?!?" Confused, Noah replies, "Huh? We unclipped them and rolled them up in boxes." He is unable to see that Ruth is holding up her newly mangled Bono Funko Pop (that Valerie had been chewing on all week), and Ruth says, "No! What happened to my Funko Bono?" Noah replies, "Oh yeah. I meant to tell you: Valerie got her first tooth."

A moment of silence for Ruth‘s Funko Bono… and if Valerie finds the stash of replacements Noah just bought, let’s have some pre-emptive moments of silence for them, too.

January 13, 2023: In the Toy Store

January 13, 2023January 13, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is at the toy store with a few Bono Funko Pops in his shopping cart. He's holding Valerie who is reaching for the Funkos. Noah tells her, "No, Valerie, those are for Mommy's collection. I got you proper teething toys." Valerie continues trying to squirm away and get at the Funkos; Noah pulls her back and says, "No no no. No Funkos for you." Valerie starts screaming. Just then Ursula comes up to Noah with a big smile and a big Lego box, saying, "Daddy! They have the giant Lego Viking ship!" Noah replies, "Not now, Ursula. Maybe for your birthday in June." Ursula growls and grabs Noah's cellphone out of his pocket, then phones Granny Thorsen and tells her, "Granny Thorsen! It's an emergency! We're in the toy store and Daddy won't buy me the Lego Viking ship!" Granny Thorsen replies, "Put the boy on the phone."

Yet another of Noah‘s attempts to teach Valerie and Ursula delayed gratification is thwarted.

January 12, 2023: Valerie’s Chew Funko

January 12, 2023January 12, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah is looking under the sofa cushions while Ursula is watching TV. Noah asks, "Ursula, have you seen your mommy's Bono Funko Pop?" Ursula looks over to her right at her baby sister and says, "Valerie's got him." Noah replies, "OK. Don't let her wreck it." Valerie is chewing on the Funko Pop's head with the one tooth she has and has torn the head open. Ursula replies to Noah, "Too late.'

Valerie‘s got a new favorite chew/teething toy… unfortunately it’s her mom‘s favorite Funko Pop: Bono. Looks like a trip to the toy store will be in order to find a replacement.