King Noah the First

Noah is checking his phone and learns the Queen has died, so he imagines himself as King of England.
How Duke wishes he’d insisted on a lake with no cell coverage…


“Bring me the royal flip-flops” might well be my favorite line I’ve ever written.


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Comic text

In case of broken image links or accessibility issues with today’s cartoon, here’s the gist of the comic:

Noah is on the little fishing boat with his son Duke. Noah looks at his phone and says, “Hey, Duke! Ruth Says the Queen died!”

Duke replies with a simple “mmm…”

Noah grins and continues: “So now Charlie’s King.”

Duke again replies with “mmm…”

Noah, eyes closed and smiling, says “Lucky bastard… I wish I was King… just sit around all day cutting ribbons… dressed like a pimp in furs and jewels…”

As he speaks, we see him imagining himself as King in two scenes: one wearing all purple, shirt open as usual, with the Imperial state crown on his head as he cuts a red ribbon and leers at the boobs of a woman standing next to him at the ribbon-cutting ceremony. The second thought bubble shows Noah in a purple Speedo with the purple ermine-trimmed imperial robes on his shoulder. He’s wearing a gold jewelled crown and is carrying a gold goblet and a gold sceptre with a platinum orb on top. All encrusted with jewels, including Noah. He grins and says, “Bring me the royal flip-flops; I’m going to the beach!”

Back in reality (sorta) Noah adds, “And if Queen Ruth nags me to mow the lawn more, off with her head!” Duke scowls as he looks at his daydreaming dad and thinks “Ah yes, the five wives of King Noah the First…” but says only a final “mmmhmmm.”