2023 - Noah's Archipelago

January 9, 2023: The Hazards of Sneezes

January 12, 2023January 9, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Adam and Duke are sitting on the couch playing video games and Ursula comes up and pokes Duke in the arm, saying, "Psst... Girls get pregnant when a boy sneezes on them, right?" Adam laughs and says "Who told you that?" Ursula replies, "Jenny says her mom's pregnant because her dad sneezed." Adam grins and asks, "Jenny's flunking science, isn't she?" Ursula says "Yeah..." then, confused, adds, "Wait, how'd you know that?" Adam replies, "Magic." Ursula then tells her brothers, "Anyway there's this runny-nosed kid Tommy who's always sneezing and—" Duke cuts her off and tells her, "You can't get pregnant from sneezes." Adam pipes up with, "Cooties, however..."

Ursula goes to Adam and Duke with the latest schoolyard scoop.

January 7, 2023: Comparing Notes

January 12, 2023January 7, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Adam and his girlfriend Stacey are sitting on mismatched throne chairs in their living room, each looking exhausted and sitting with their feet up on an ottoman and drinking a beer. Stacey asks Adam, "How's your mom?" Adam replies, "Guilt-trippy and baby crazy." Stacey says, "Same old same old, then. And your dad?" "Telling me how many kids and ex-wives he had at my age. What's your mom been up to?" Stacey tells him "Plastering the walls of the shop with pics of wedding dresses." "As one does on a Saturday afternoon," Adam answers.

Nice to see that Stacey and Adam‘s moms have something in common.

January 6, 2023: Gigi’s Baby Crazy

January 12, 2023January 6, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Adam's mother Gigi is sitting at a table with Adam, Noah, and her boyfriend Glen. Gigi is holding baby Valerie and cooing at her: "Aww... look at you! I remember when your big brother was as widdle as you!" Glen smiles and says, "Ya, they're cute when they're that tiny." Noah proudly (and narcisisstically) pipes up, saying, "And she's got great genetics!" Glen grins and replies, "Ya, from Ruth." Noah scowls and growls, while Gigi looks at Adam and asks, "Adam, when are you and Stacey gonna start having wee ones?" Adam winces and stammers, "Um... well... you're too young to be a granny, Ma..."

Way to put Adam on the spot, Gigi.

January 5, 2023: Ursula’s Resolutions

January 5, 2023January 5, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula's teacher, Miss Fardemar, is standing in front of the class with "New Year's Resolutions" written on the board behind her. She asks, "So who has a New Year's resolution they'd like to share?" Ursula has her hand up and is waving it, and Miss Fardemar calls on her: "Ursula?" Ursula says, "Watch more cartoons and do less homework!" Miss Fardemar replies, "Well, you have to do the homework I assign." Ursula retorts, "Not if you make a resolution to stop assigning it."

Nice try, Ursula. Swing and a miss, but nice try.

January 4, 2023: The TC10K

January 5, 2023January 4, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Ruth and Noah are in the kitchen and she tells him, "I'm doing the TC10K run this year." Noah grins and replies, "Fantastic!" as he fetches some Koolaid from the fridge. Ruth continues, "Ursula's too little for it, but you could run it with me." Still grinning, Noah looks down at his glass and tells her, "Naw, I prefer yoga and rowing." Not giving up, Ruth squeezes Noah's shoulder and says, "I think the run will be good for you. My dad's doing the TC10K this year, too." Noah raises his eyebrows and replies, "Oh? Did Agnes tell him that yet?" Ruth crosses her arms and squirms: "Um..." Noah continues, "Is she running it with him?" Ruth looks uncomfortable and says, "Well... no... Mom has a bum knee. She'll meet him at the finish line." To which Noah replies, "Yeah... me and the girls will meet you at the finish line with Agnes and her bum knee."

No, Noah, Frank has not been informed of his participation in the TC10K yet. The TC10K is a run/walk race for charity held in Victoria, BC. I’m kinda thinking I might sign up for it this year, actually. I’ll be in the back with the slow walkers, lol…

January 3, 2023: Back to School

January 2, 2023January 3, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Ursula's teacher, Miss Fardemar is smiling and clutching a stack of papers to her chest as Ursula enters the classroom. Miss Fardemar says to her, "Ursula, you're back! I thought you were off to raid England in Viking homeschool." Ursula scowls and growls in response. Miss Fardemar continues, "Well, you can tell us all about it... maybe even in Danish!" Ursula replies, "Pretty sure I'll get detention if I use any of the Danish words I learned from my brothers..."

Guess Ruth told Beryl all about the whole Viking homeschool thing.

January 2, 2023: “No.”

January 2, 2023January 2, 2023 by Pyra Draculea

Noah and Ursula are sitting cross-legged in front of the TV, watching cartoons and eating sugary cereal. Ruth approaches and asks, "Ursula, do you want to—" Ursula cuts her off, saying, "No." Annoyed, Ruth says, "I didn't finish the—" and Ursula again interrupts her: "No." Ruth says, "You don't know what I was going to—" and Ursula again interrupts her: "No." Now Noah is irked and pipes up with, "Ursula, at least let Mommy finish before—" and Ursula again interrupts: "No." She then continues: "The few precious hours of freedom I have left before school are all for watching cartoons. No time for anything else."

Ursula’s New Year’s resolution to watch more cartoons is off to a great start. Her attitude, however…