January 30, 2023: Fitness Goals

Noah and Adam are talking in the kitchen. Adam sighs, rolls his eyes, and says, "You wanna get fit? Come pump iron with me." Noah is wary and asks, "I'm not gonna end up looking like Glenn Danzig, am I?" Annoyed, Adam asks, "What's wrong with looking like Danzig?" as he pictures a young and buff Danzig on stage. Noah replies, "Well, he's no Mick Jagger." as he envisions an older but still slim and spry Jagger dancing around onstage. Adam facepalms and points out, "Neither are you." Noah is irked and retorts, "No, but I have goals." Just then Ursula pops up with her chin on the dining room table and asks, "Can I pump iron?" Adam, hands on hips, tells her, "You're too little. Come back in 5 years." Ursula is annoyed and asks, hands on hips, "Can I at least come point and laugh?" Adam tells her, "No. Go play in traffic." This annoys Noah who yells, also hands on hips, "Adam!" before then adding, "Honey, go watch cartoons." to get Ursula to leave them alone.


“Go play in traffic” was my maternal uncles’ favorite retort when us kids were being annoying in the ’80s.

Anyway, one might wonder why Noah doesn’t ask Ruth whether she’d prefer a Danzig physique or a Jagger one… but she might tell him Bono, in which case Noah’s kinda already there.

Side note: in Bill Flanagan’s book U2: At the End of the World, there’s a passage mentioning how Bono would call Robert Plant “The Tall Cool One” after Plant’s ’80s hit of the same name. Plant, in turn, referred to Bono as “The Short Fat One.” Not very nice, but then by those standards Noah could scarf down some guilt-free cheeseburgers and sprinkle donuts if he likes.